Why Do Marriages Fail? 4 Reasons You Can’t Afford to Ignore

Marriage, in God’s original design, is not just a union but a divine covenant meant to bring joy, companionship, and fulfilment. Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Yet, in today’s world, countless marriages crumble despite being blessed, celebrated, and publicly declared. Why does this happen? The truth is that many marriages fail not because of external factors but due to internal, often personal misalignments with God’s standard.

Below are four common reasons why marriages don’t last, even among genuine lovers. Guidance is also provided on how to avoid them.

1. Weak and Wrong Foundation: Is Your Marriage Built on the Rock or the Sand?
Jesus made a striking comparison in Matthew 7:24-27, where He likened two builders: one who built on a rock and another on sand. The one who built on a rock endured the storm; the other collapsed with great ruin. A strong foundation in marriage isn’t merely a grand church wedding or a prestigious officiating minister. It is about building the relationship on truth, purity, honesty, and a deep reverence for God.

Sadly, many couples start with deception, pretence, lies, and lust. They neglect to ask themselves: Is God truly the centre of our relationship? Are we spiritually compatible? Have we maintained a pure and God-centred relationship?

Psalm 127:1 reminds us, “Except the Lord builds the house, the builders labour in vain.” Without God at the centre, marriages are vulnerable. A godly foundation includes truthfulness, openness, godliness, and consistent spiritual growth together.

2. Self-Centeredness: Is It All About You?
The Apostle Paul instructs in Philippians 2:3–4, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” In marriage, selfishness is a silent killer. When either spouse constantly prioritises their needs, dreams, interests, and opinions without regard for the other, unity begins to break down. Marriage is about mutual submission and shared sacrifices.

Ephesians 5:21 exhorts us to “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Love that gives, serves, listens, and sacrifices is the glue that keeps couples together. Christ-like humility must replace ego and entitlement in every union.

3. Covetousness and Lack of Contentment: Are You Always Wanting More?

In a world obsessed with comparison, it’s easy to look at other couples, houses, vocations, or the financial strength of other people and feel inadequate. Covetousness is dangerous and can be deadly. Exodus 20:17 warns, “You shall not covet your neighbour’s house; you shall not covet your neighbour’s house, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbour’s.”

This discontentment often fuels bitterness, nagging, and unrealistic expectations in marriage. It may even push one spouse to secret desires, affairs, or financial recklessness. Hebrews 13:5 encourages us, “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, I will never leave you nor forsake you”

Contentment doesn’t mean settling; it means recognising and appreciating the blessings you already have. Nurture gratitude daily. A contented heart fosters peace and stability in marriage.

4. Egotism and Pride: Do You Think You Don’t Need Each Other?

In Genesis 2:18, “And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Yet, many enter or live in marriage with a mindset of independence rather than unity. Romans 12:3 warns, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought to think…” Pride manifests as an unwillingness to apologise, listen, or compromise. It hardens the heart and blinds couples to each other’s values.

This kind of attitude opens the door for the enemy to sow division. Proverbs 16:18 puts it plainly: “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” Humility is strength. When both partners can admit wrongs, seek counsel, and submit to one another, healing flows and trust is built.

Conclusion: God Wants Your Marriage to Thrive, Not Just Survive
The breakdown of marriages is not God’s desire. Malachi 2:16 expresses it strongly: “For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence.” God designed marriage as a source of strength, joy, and purpose. When it’s built on His truth, fuelled by humility, anchored in contentment, and marked by mutual respect, it becomes a haven for both partners.

If you’re married or preparing to be, take these truths to heart. Let the Word of God be your compass. Pray together, communicate often, and love unconditionally. Restoration is always possible when God is invited into the centre.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. Can a broken marriage be restored by God?
Yes! God specialises in restoration. If both spouses are willing to seek Him, repent, and forgive, healing is possible (Joel 2:25).

2. What role does prayer play in strengthening marriage?
Prayer invites God into your marriage. It aligns both partners with His will and promotes spiritual unity (Matthew 18:19-20).

3. How can couples build a godly foundation before marriage?
Through honest conversations, premarital counselling, setting spiritual goals, and maintaining purity in courtship (Psalm 119:9).

4. What are the signs that pride is harming a marriage?
Constant arguments, unwillingness to apologise, and emotional distance are signs. Humility is the antidote (Proverbs 11:2).

5. Why does the Bible emphasise contentment in marriage?
Contentment in marriage is emphasised because discontentment leads to envy, comparison, and infidelity. Contentment brings peace and gratitude (1 Timothy 6:6).

6. Is it wrong to want more in life while being married?
No, but your desires should not overshadow your gratitude or lead you to compromise your values or your spouse’s peace (James 4:3). You may also like to read more-than-a-good…lasting-marriage/